When should I marry?

A few weeks ago, I walked into a family friend at a wedding and after all the chitchat she said , ‘ Where is your ‘Mola’?, you know we have to sell you soon oh!’ (Mola here means Man). My african sisters who are close to their mid-twenties can attest to the fact that at least once a month, we get the ‘ Where is your Mr. Right?’ question, and for my young and successful african guys, I’m sure you’ve all had at least 1 blind-date with the ‘perfect’ girl according to your parents’ standard. I have never understood why people have this preconceived idea that if you are not married at a certain age, you are a social misfit.

No, I’m not saying it is wrong to marry as young as the age of 19 or even as old as 50 but why should society view you differently if you marry when you want?  Dating is not always easy and finding an ‘interesting’ or ‘God-fearing’ person is often challenging. Things are a lot more difficult now as compared to the 1980s , but there is still pressure on both men and more especially women to be everything and to ‘have it all’. This can put huge stress on getting into the right relationships at the right time and for the right reasons and the strain of managing it all might make us yearn for what we think were simpler times.

The pressure can seem overwhelming but it’s only the nature of that pressure that’s changed – it seems to be getting worse.

I want to meet the man of my dreams that God has destined for me, I want to wait on God; and before I tie the knot, I want us to know we made the right choice. So please next time, before you put pressure on someone to bring a man/woman home, remember they may be thinking about it already. Guide them instead of mounting pressure on them; many bad marriages today are a result of the pressure. Tein-tein ( bakweri for ‘small,small’ (no pressure)).

How we live now is by no means perfect, patience is the key because when the right time comes, it will be very beautiful and totally worth the wait.


3 thoughts on “When should I marry?

  1. Franklin Nkengafac Ngueiwoh

    I personally think you can only let the pressure get to you if you want to. You can’t stop people from talking (and quite frankly some do mean good) but you can definitely stop yourself from letting the the pressure get to you. Bc at the end of the day, its your life, your wedding, yout marriage and you will enjoy the good times n suffer the bad ones alone w your spouse.
    So my advice to girls is, don’t look at every man like a potential ring bearer. Relax, make friends, a few will make their intentions known, go out on as many dates as possible (friendly dates). Get to know people. Never meet a man for the first time and start a relationship out of desperation.
    Nothing good comes from doing something under pressure.
    Its a life time commitment; if u don’t feel ready, don’t get into it. PERIOD!!!

    Liked by 2 people

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